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‘Cupcake Burglar’ busted thanks to frosting – World’s Dumbest Criminals

By | Rachel Brooks

Staff | Telegraph Local 

See | The New African Living Standard

Above, Google satellite captures the sleepy suburbs of Alpena, MI.

It was in Alpena, Michigan in April 2019 when a drunken burglar decided to storm through a residence in hot pursuit of cupcakes. Michigan Live reported the story on April 3, 2019. The female suspect barreled through a house in Alpine and knocked over a tray of cupcakes and other items. This was why police had no trouble tying her to the crime. 

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The police found the woman a couple of blocks away from the home she crashed through. She was there drunk and drenched in cake frosting. The incident reportedly occurred on Sunday, October 18, 2015. The correct date was reported by The New York Daily News when the story posted to its outlet a few days later on October 23, 2015.  Police responded to the scene of a breaking and entering incident at a residence on Lewis Street, Alpena, Michigan. The incident was reported when the woman quickly fled the scene of the cupcake and what-not whirlwind she’d left broken in the house. The New York Daily News reported that the home’s female resident entered the kitchen to find the drunk woman had ransacked her property. The woman appeared to be suffering from “the drunk munchies.” It was not indicated on record if she had used any drugs along with the alcohol. 

Alpena Police and Michigan State Police joined forces to track down this dastardly cupcake destroyer. She was later described as “highly intoxicated” and it was stated that she had cupcake frosting “on her torso and legs.” Michigan Live was citing the police report of the incident. 

She was locked up in the Alpena County Jail on charges of unlawful entry and malicious destruction of property. 

The Daily Meal reported that the burglar actually left frosting droplets behind as she fled the scene. This Hansel and Gretel frosted cupcake crumb trail is what led police to the suspect. 

101.5 WPDH reported that the home’s female owner responded to the sound of the commotion and crashing of the woman breaking all her stuff and destroying her cupcakes. One could likely imagine her surprise to find the woman, and the frosting tramped all over her house. 

Despite being referred to as the “Cupcake Burglar”, Elite Daily reported that nothing appeared to have been stolen from the residence. 

Bizarre criminal behavior though it was, this is not the only time that cupcakes have made their way into female criminal behavior. Newser reported in 2011 that a woman in Chicago was charged with domestic battery for hitting her husband with cupcakes. This story also appeared in the Chicago Tribune. There was a heated domestic dispute between the woman and her spouse. In the midst of it, she hit him over the head and then pelted cupcakes from a dessert box at him. 

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The man was not directly innocent in their relationship. Chicago Tribune states that the husband of this cupcake hailing duo had also been arrested multiple times in the past for domestic battery. 

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